


Should've Been Us

by AustinB



Series: Tumblr Prompts [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, If you want - Freeform, M/M, and a little Steve/Bucky/Peggy, sorta Matt/Karen/Foggy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-01 21:13:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4034797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AustinB/pseuds/AustinB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s not much for words these days and his voice is quieter than it used to be, but when he speaks, Steve listens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Should've Been Us

**Author's Note:**

> anonymous asked:  
> came up with a prompt for both your fave ships! It's a random post-saving-the-day party; in the midst of it all, Matt & Karen are snuggling on the couch with Foggy right next to them, & though Matt & Karen are a couple, they're also obviously a family trio. Steve stares at them for ages, then slips away. Bucky follows hot on his heels, & Steve dissolves in tears on Bucky's shoulder, because THAT was what Steve & Peggy & Bucky were supposed to be. THAT was what they deserved & were robbed of.

They’re mostly quiet, except Clint, who seems to feel the need to pretend harder than anyone that everything is ok. Tony (but mostly Pepper) had invited them all back to unwind at the tower. It hadn’t been raining-aliens-from-the-sky bad, but it had still been bad enough that they felt the need to gather themselves together in one room.

Clint is disagreeing with Natasha (never a good idea) about what to put on the projector screen Tony uses as a T.V. in the home theater, and she’s holding the remote like she’s about to beat him over the head with it.

Thor had taken a detour through the kitchen and is presumably loading up a plate of everything he can find to bring back with him. Bruce is quietly dozing in an armchair while Steve sits next to Bucky on the small couch, both their feet up on the coffee table, ankles crossed, right over left.

Tony is sitting on the arm of Bruce’s chair watching Clint and Natasha fake fight, and Steve is watching Matt, Karen and Foggy slowly falling asleep on the big couch. Karen sits between the two men, slouched down and leaning her cheek onto Matt’s shoulder, who’s leaning his cheek against the top of her head. Her legs are folded up so her feet are in Foggy’s lap. Foggy’s got one hand propping his chin up on the armrest, and the other wrapped around Karen’s ankle. They make such a pretty picture Steve can’t bring himself to look away, though he’d realized minutes ago that his blatant staring was verging on rude. At least everyone is so exhausted no one has seemed to notice yet.

Steve isn’t quite sure yet just what about it makes him so sad. He doesn’t know the details of their relationships, but the three of them seem comfortable together. Happy. He’s seen them communicate amongst themselves with looks and touches, like they’re of one mind, different parts of the same person. Residual affection comes off them in waves and he should be happy too. Happy for them, because they’re his friends. So why does he want to scream?

Steve feels eyes on his left and turns to look at Bucky, who raises his eyebrows. Steve should’ve known better than to think anything he did would’ve gone unnoticed by him. He’s always sharp. Always on edge, even now.

Suddenly it hits him. Looking into Bucky’s blue eyes, the small furrow of concern between his brows, the tilt of his lips that means he doesn’t understand. The ache is so strong it knocks the wind out of him and it’s all he can do not to sob right there. Instead he bolts, as quickly as he can without attracting the attention of the others. The hallway is cooler than the room and it feels good on his hot face. He walks a few steps down the hallway and by the time he turns around to pace back, Bucky’s standing there.

“Hey,” he says. Steve stops where he is, about six steps away and leans against the wall, tips his face up to the ceiling and squeezes his eyes shut. He can’t fall apart, not now. Not ever. The team looks to him for strength, and Bucky—Bucky’s been through hell and back, Steve has no right to—

“Hey,” Bucky says again, close to his ear.

“Should’ve been us,” Steve blurts and opens his eyes when Bucky’s quiet for a beat.

Bucky only tips his head to ask for an explanation.

“In there,” he says, jutting his chin back toward the theater room. “The three of them,” he says, and watches the understanding clear in Bucky’s eyes. “Should’ve been me and you and. And Peggy, but then you fell and I crashed and now she’s— and we’re.” Steve grits his teeth. “It’s not fair,” he says, and he hears how much like a child he sounds, but couldn’t care any less. It’s  _not_ fair. Bucky will understand.

“I didn’t know you wanted that for us,” Bucky says and Steve is surprised to see a half smile tugging on the corner of his lips. “Well, I’ll be thinking about that all night now.”

Steve feels himself instantly and involuntarily let go of the bitterness, but it only makes the ache stronger without the fire of his rage to push back against it. Bucky sees his shoulders drop and takes another half step closer to brush their fingers together.

What could have been lays heavy on his heart. He does his best not to feel sorry for himself. After all he's seen, he has no right. But some days are still harder than others. He can imagine how good it might’ve been, had things gone differently. The three of them out for drinks, having dinner, laying around together. Easy touches, companionship, affection. He loved her so much—loves her, even still. A woman like that—

“The future’s not all bad, is it Stevie?” Bucky asks. He’s not much for words these days and his voice is quieter than it used to be, but when he speaks, Steve listens.

His smile feels a little forced, but Bucky’s here, standing right in front of him. Steve never thought he’d have even the pleasure of looking at his best friend again, let alone—

“No.” Steve leans in to brush their lips together like he never could have before. Bucky’s relearning how to be loved and it shoots a thrill down Steve’s spine when he leans in to his touch. “No, it’s not.”

Karen has fallen asleep and slid down so her face is smushed against Matt’s chest, and he’s twisting a lock of her hair around his finger absently. Foggy’s fallen asleep too, his head tilted back against the couch, mouth open.

Tony’s disappeared, and Clint and Natasha seem to have come to an agreement which consists of doing whatever Natasha wants. She’s sitting in Clint’s lap, still holding onto the remote and the princess on screen is singing a song about ice.

Matt tilts his head in Steve’s direction and shoots him a small smile. Maybe he heard their conversation, maybe he just understands. Either way, as Steve settles back on the small couch with Bucky, feet propped up on the coffee table, ankles crossed, fingers entwined on Steve’s thigh, he watches the three of them tangled together instead of the movie. And smiles.


End file.
